As per her contract with Motown Records, we are legally required to send all birthday wishes intended for Gladys Knight to Berry Gordy.

Berry Gordy’s Gladys Knight is 72!

Through protest songs like “Have You Ever Seen The Rain?” and “Who’ll Stop The Rain,” he has dedicated his life to fighting a natural phenomenon he does not fully understand.

John Fogerty is 71!

[Read the full article online at The Onion’s StarWipe.]