Headline contributor.
On Wednesday, Marie Claire exclusively unveiled a series of photos from Cara Delevingne and French artist Arno Elias’ new “I Am Not A Trophy” campaign, which features the model-actress fully nude with images of exotic animals projected onto her body. The scintillating global initiative is meant to bring awareness to the harmful practice of poaching and … help save sexy animals? Or something?
[Read the full article at The Onion’s Starwipe.]
As per her contract with Motown Records, we are legally required to send all birthday wishes intended for Gladys Knight to Berry Gordy.
Berry Gordy’s Gladys Knight is 72!
Through protest songs like “Have You Ever Seen The Rain?” and “Who’ll Stop The Rain,” he has dedicated his life to fighting a natural phenomenon he does not fully understand.
John Fogerty is 71!
Headline contributor.
Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton—two popular singers and reality stars who, by the grace of fate, found each other just in time for their albums’ promotional cycles to begin—are deeply and demonstrably in love, according to the near-hourly updates in our inbox. But theirs is a love that cannot be captured by mere words, nor Instagram posts, nor magazine covers, nor TV interviews, nor televised duets, nor album singles available now on iTunes for a mere $1.29. In fact, the couple so want the whole world to know of their deep, authentic affection for each other, they may be paying people to promote it on social media.
As is told in the ancient Roman text How The Grinch Stole Christmas!, every Christmas, the Whos down in Whoville stand hand-in-hand and sing carols. Nothing can stop their impenetrable Christmas spirit. Even when The Grinch steals Christmas, they still stand out in Whoville Square without any presents at all, singing as loud as they can.
But they’re not singing because they love Christmas. They’re singing because they’re terrified that they’re all going to be slaughtered. Because that’s what How The Grinch Stole Christmas! is really about: a community of traumatized people who live in constant fear of genocide.
You might’ve missed that part when you were four years old. And even more surprising is that it’s not The Grinch who is threatening them. It’s far crazier than that …
